My definition: FUCK UP.
Goodbye to all the pain and hurt. Goodbye to the guilt and sadness. Goodbye to the things that have eaten at my soul for so long. Goodbye to the wreck I used to be.
Im here, but Im not. I can see the whole world rushing past me while. Im lost in my own head. I cant get out because the hold too strong. My screams for help are muffled by the sounds of the world moving forward. All I can do is stand and watch, hoping I dont get left behind.
I hope that it’s just the boredom getting to me. And not feelings of depression creeping closer. Perhaps another snooze and ill wake up fine again.
Had the most amazing night with the “girlfriend” tonight. We went out for a super dooper dinner, got lost, laughed, spilt shit, got fat, laughed again and talked like we havent been apart at all. We watched a fucking hilarious movie and made fools of ourselves laughing out loud.
All in all, it was fucking epic. Ive missed her so much, and seeing her tonight really lifted my mood.
Lovers you Karly.
And in the darkness, all that could be seen was river, flowing steadily through the night. The silver reflection from the moon gave her hope, and for the first time, the voices started to tell her that she was in control.
For the first time in easily two years, I can allow myself to fall asleep listening to music.
I used to fear waking up in a depression because of certain lyrics Id listened to.
The amount of times Id wake up with the urge to grab that blade makes me cringe.
And here I am now; able to listen to even the saddest songs, and let the lyrics consume me.